Tackling Mealtimes
Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when you are trying to support someone with an eating disorder manage their food.
Here is a handy guide written by a young person with Anorexia. Responding with little reminders whenever you see some of these behaviours can help the young person tackle it with your help.
Refusing food:
It’s ok to eat, everyone has to.
It is normal to eat
You deserve to eat
Your body needs it
You are stronger than you think
You can do it
We know you don’t want to do this. It’s not a choice.
You’ve worked through this before, you’re strong enough to do it again.
Hiding food:
I can see you’ve taken [x] from your plate. Please could you put it back and eat it?
I’m not cross with you, but I would like you to eat [x] which you have in your hand / pocket.
Could I replace the food you’ve removed from your plate with fresh food for you to eat?
It’s not going to help you in the long run.
It won’t make a difference if you eat [x]
It’s not a helpful habit
Can we work together so that you feel able to eat the food instead of concealing it?
Smearing, pressing or ‘spreading’:
Spreading is an unofficial term used to describe the spreading of crumbs and small bits of food that are pushed from the plate to the table, chair, floor, clothes etc.
Please could you eat all of your [x]
This isn’t going to help you in the long run
Those tiny bits really aren’t going to make a difference
Comments targeting abnormal eating habits are also helpful here
Abnormal eating:
This includes following rules such as cutting up food into tiny pieces, ripping apart finger food, picking apart a meal and eating food in a certain order among many others.
You can manage without that.
Please try not to do that.
You’ve got this far without that behaviour, you can manage to keep going.
It’s not going to help you in the long run.
Try to finish the meal without that behaviour.
Keep trying really hard to challenge the urge to do that.
I have full faith that you can manage without that.
I can see you’re trying really hard and you’re doing really well; just keep going with it without the behaviour.